WHAT IS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE?
WHAT IS COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE?

I received a phone call today in my Brentwood, TN office and the caller asked about collaborative divorce.  They read something on-line and wanted more information.  Here's is summary of the collaborative divorce process.

A therapist coach, financial professional, attorney for the husband and attorney for the wife work together with the couple to agree on the financial settlement and custody agreement.  The first retainer for each professional is typically $3,000 - $3,500.  So out of the gate, the couple will owe $12,000.  There are typically three retainers for each professional.  So, the divorce will cost about $36,000.  The professionals meet with the clients and separately to discuss the case details, client concerns and desired outcomes.  If the professionals are not able to come to agreement on the settlement, the spouses will then need to find different attorneys to litigate the case. 

While in theory, it would be great if all these professionals could work together for the god of the couple, it is very difficult for the egos of the professionals to mesh.  Additionally, trying to plan meetings with four busy professionals and two busy spouses results in the divorce process being very lengthy indeed.

I worked as the financial professional on collaborative divorce cases in Nashville for four years and decided the outcomes were so disappointing and expensive for clients that I could no longer participate with a clear conscience.  Despite collaborative divorce being around in Nashville for about 13 years, it has gained traction because the case outcomes have not been good for the clients, the professional fees are high and the collaborative divorce process is very lengthy and stressful for clients.

Because a divorce is 45% emotions, 45% numbers and 10% law, it makes far more sense for a couple considering divorce to being their process with a therapist to consider questions.  Why am I unhappy?  Am I unhappy with myself or my relationship with my spouse?  How will a divorce make me more happy?  What will be the emotional impact on my family.

After therapy, the next step when considering divorce should be to work with a financial professional to understand your assets, debts, tax impacts of divorce and if alimony and child support are options for the case.  Typically after someone understands their financial reality, they become more calm.  This is good news for the person and their family.  After the financial information is gathered, then an attorney can give meaningful legal advice.

So, rather than starting the divorce process with attorneys, it makes more sense to bring the attorneys in later in the case.  This approach controls legal fees, allows clients to control the process and is kind to the family and their bank account.